“Heaven made manifest on earth”
W. Stoertz, Friday, December 25, 2017
By, and only by, establishing a heartfelt connection, a bond of love between Heaven and Earth, is it possible to more clearly, openly and heartistically perceive the secrets of the Heavenly Kingdom in the Completed Testament Era in which we now live.
How to make a bond of love with Heaven? Through the ages the religions have offered ways and approaches to this: God directly as God (Yahweh, Allah); God as Trinity; God in Jesus Christ; Parents of Heaven Earth and Mankind; and then there are ways to express our sincere jeongseong toward Heaven: 충성 and 효정, prayer, 정성, conditions like fasting, etc., offerings.... But the most precious is love.
These three: love, obedience, and faith. Our church calls this “Absolute Faith, Absolute Love, Absolute Obedience.”
But the meaning is somewhat different, deeply different, than the normal conception. The crucial element above all is heart and sincerity. Heart, sincerity and jeongseong -- which is devotion, investment, ardent heart and effort.
Love is above all. Jesus said, “And the greatest of all these is love.” Jesus was / is Love. God is Love.
Love is readily misunderstood. Westerners have a romantic man-woman conception. Of course this is one dimension of love; but even this love must also grow.
Love has a Purpose. Love always has a purpose. Love has its own purpose. We can't assign the purpose to love; that would be manipulative, even exploitative. But love is spontaneous, natural, welling forth of its own.
What is “The Love of Heaven and Earth?” This is the Great Love. The Great Love is the Classic Theme of Humanity.
Here the humanities and religion (faith) can meet.
In Heavenly Love, or Love binding Heaven and Earth, the nuclear power of Heaven and Earth is ignited, and bursts forth, like a spark suddenly igniting in the center of the mind.
The brain has a physical center -- the pineal gland, which, physically, is the center of love and the physical center where God dwells internally (physically speaking) in the mind.
However, God is not physical nor does He have a location.
Nevertheless, in Unified Field Theory, “mapping” takes place from vertical (internal, complex dimension) to the horizontal, 3/4-dimensional space-time of what we know as physical reality.
Every physical system has unseen vertical, complex dimensions which enable and empower and direct it. Not only by the physical systems, such as DNA--RNA--mRNA--tRNA--enzymes, etc. -- but these outward systems have to be guided and overseen by an accompanying “spiritual aura” or Sung-sang field mapping into and surrounding the object which is operating in cooperation with Heavenly supervision and support. In living organisms, this is called “life”. In the complete human being this is called the “mind”.
You can observe such an “aura” in photographs. It is the field in the physical plane where the projection from the Sung-sang realm into the Hyung-sang realm becomes concretely substantialized, where “prime force” from God manifests in the horizontal real world as “universal prime force” and thence to light, or physical force, etc.
We see many phenomena now which hearken to the interaction and operation of the Heavenly realm upon the earthly realm. This is God's Will to show these things, gradually, to humankind so that now we can transcend the old paradigm of the strictly material worldview, which is now being superseded by the higher-dimensional model which invokes Heaven (God, the Sung-sang realm) in our daily life and the functioning of everyday things, but most especially in critical providential moments that have historical weight for the progress of this world toward God's Kingdom.
The human conscience is the most immediate, direct and accessible channel we have to God and Heaven.
However, the conscience is like “gravity” among the four fundamental forces -- it is the weakest and most vulnerable. We easily trod upon and violate our conscience.
In comparison, “love of Heaven and Earth” is like the “strong nuclear force” mediated by gluons. It is like nuclear fire in our mind and heart.
In love, as Lucifer told Eve, “Your eyes shall be opened.” Well, he was right, but in the wrong way. Love indeed is the bridge between Heaven and earth, but he misused it and misguided the children so that they sought that “knowledge” but it actually destroyed them. So Adam and Eve's eyes were opened, knowing good and evil, but also deep regret.
The true love is good. It is like a beautiful rainbow shimmering in all colors. The love is like a Tree of Life bearing all sorts of fruits of goodness in every area.
Now the time has come for people to have access to the Tree of Life, the true love, the Christ, and all the good things that our hearts have longed for but could never attain; they ever evaded us through the millennia, while we miserable people sought them in all the wrong ways -- wars, money, jealousy, slander, violence, abuse, -- hurting the very people who could have been the gateway for us to know love and to come closer to God's heart.
Good and innocent people were victimized throughout the ages. Truth was persecuted and suppressed. But now we have moved into an Abel-type age when truth comes out clearly and is vindicated, when goodness and innocence rise like oil to the top of the water. It is also an age of harmony when the old Cain and Abel are at last reconciled and work chummily together, and the good things that Cain has had are shared with Abel and the good things he has.
Religious people were vertical, separate from the world, often persecuted and martyred, living an inaccessible ascetic life of extreme prayer, worship, fasting, celibacy, martyrdom, sainthood.
But now is the time of a healthy, happy, warm, soft, glowing, round sphere which is the realm of love and happiness when the good things of heaven and earth are shared, the good things of man and woman, of East and West, North and South.
No longer the time of separation, the heart-rending division of North and South shall soon disappear and melt away like a bad dream of a former era. This time has come now.
Another important point in this, important in doing any kind of spiritual work, whether a mudang, or a church pastor, or a theologian, or a prayer warrior, or a fundraiser -- you must have a good foundation on earth. Before taking care of spiritual things, you should first build the earthly base. For example, before praying, you should first clean up the prayer room, arrange the altar, sit properly, light the candle, and follow the rituals, staring with bows. Then God and the good spiritual world is more able to come to work with you.
Also, to do spiritual work, in the “Abel” position (sometimes spiritual or religious people are actually in the “Cain” position -- something we Unification Church members must be very careful about, because the time is coming, the time of Cataclysmic Reversal of Heaven and Earth, in which we may become “the last man out.”), you must first make a good relationship with the people (or a specific person) in Cain position. Make a horizontal foundation before you attempt to build a tall vertical antenna. A pyramid, for example, is strong and long-lasting, because it has a vast, substantial horizontal base.
One more thing, the last, the most important: It is clear from all these contents, and from all True Parents’ words, that sexuality is the key gateway to Union with God and Unification of Heaven and Earth.
Until recently, sex has been generally naughty, furtive, corrupt, filthy, dangerous – the cause of divorce, breakup of families, downfall of political leaders and nations, betrayal of trust, etc. But sex has been redeemed by True Parents in, as they term it, “Absolute Sex” (Pure Love, 순결, 절대성).
Love, and by obvious extension, Absolute Sex, is the Alpha and Omega. Sex is what destroyed the Garden of Eden and the first human ancestors; sex is the key to reuniting Heaven and Earth, East and West.
As the Beatles sang, “Love is all you need.” A very undifferentiated statement; but we must use our Conscience and True Parents’ guidance. Love is indeed the Ultimate – all we need.
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Ahh... I'm like Dr. Joon-ho Seuk, and receive revelations on the bathroom toilet.
Okay. Love, or heart, is the most precious and core essence to God, for God, and in God.
Humans are made in the “image of God” but not identical to God. We are, as it were, analogical to God -- we have a similar or analogical pattern to God, as it were, enabling us to (dimly) understand God with our human minds. Of course Jesus Christ who was One with God could understand God fully.
For God, “time” is different from time for us human beings. Humans perceive time sequentially, whereas God perceives “time” holistically, as process steps, seeing the first things and last things simultaneously. In between are the “process steps” which, according to human fulfillment of responsibility, depend upon our free will and choice and action. God is penultimately skilled and wise at coaxing people into the situation where they can existentially cognize their responsibility, but the choice is up to us by our free will. This is ever God's dilemma and headache. Because the unfolding of His Providential Will totally depends upon us, and people more often than not fail to do so.
As growth for us takes place through phases, we have many stages of life during which to experience abundantly each type of heart for our perfection as human beings with a heart becoming one with God's heart, who embodies all aspects of Heart in richest abundance and fullness. We go through birth, babyhood, childhood, youth, adolescence, falling in love, blossoming of love, consummation of love, maturing of love, life as husband and wife, conception, pregnancy, childbirth, parenthood, then parents of teenagers, seeing our kids get married, having grandchildren, midlife, maturity, seniority, dotage, senility, death, and then even in spirit world there are phases (the moment of passage, cognition of the reality of our death, three days “in the tomb”, 40 days of wandering and visitation, comforting and solace in the earth plane, Ascension, three years of preparation while earthly loved ones mourn, then serenity and peace in Heaven, eventually to attain to the austere majestic rows of the Ancestors). God gives us all the long days of our lives to fully experience all the phases of His Heart (by analogy, and in substance).
The ultimate attainment of Oneness with God is based on “The Eight Stage Vertical and Horizontal Course of Restoration” whereby we navigate through our earthly life through the vertical stages of enemy, slave, servant, hired employee, trusted employee (servant), adopted son/daughter, step-son/daughter, true son/daughter, mother's position, father's position, King and Queen (owner, lord) position, and finally God. Horizontally we must expand from individual, family, clan (club, group), tribe (community, society), city, state, nation, bloc (alliance, continent), world, ecosphere (biome, Gaia), solar system, galaxy, supercluster, to the whole universe, and God.
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Ahh -- here it is -- something I neglected to convey.
One asks, “So then, tell me -- how would one go about establishing this Heaven-and-Earth Union?”
Okay, first of all, I will preface this with True Father’s “Jardim Proclamations” mostly in 1999. May 14th and June 14th were the “Proclamation of the Cosmic Liberation of Heaven and Earth.” The latest relevant one was just after Polina Lepyoshkina’s Ascension – the “9.9 Jeol” on September 9, 1999, “The Day of Blessing and Liberation of All Heaven and Earth.” The proclamations were all of the nature of moving into the perfect ideal world of our complete maturity, where we become one with God and fulfill all the things that a true son and daughter should and can become. Like, no relationship to fallen nature whatsoever.
One of the last Jardim Proclamations (there were seven) was “The Cosmic East-West Unification and Heaven-and-Earth Unification.” Father gave these increasingly long and abstruse, cosmic, global declarations. But this one was for me, for us. This was the proclamation where the Blessed Couple establishes, becomes, the Cornerstone for the unification of Heaven and earth and the reconciliation and unification of East and West, North and South. These Jardim Proclamations gave the “legal authorization”, “entitlement” – they endowed the Blessed Couple, the sons and daughters of God, to do all that is within our power, capability, conscience, and God’s prerogative that we do. On October 10, 1999 was the “Proclamation of the Realm of the Fourth Adam.”
In fact, June 14, 1999 was the official launching of the providence of William Stoertz and Polina Lepyoshkina to establish the Heaven-and-Earth Unification and East-West Unification in accordance with True Parents’ direction and mandate. This was the “Day of All Things”; very many special things happened: A gathering of all members in Izmailovskiy Park in Moscow, at which Polina Lepyoshkina and her spiritual sister Natalia Boutikova Kulina were present, and a trip up the Moscow River to visit the site of the upcoming Dae Mo Nim Ancestor Liberation Workshop at Rakovo Sanatorium the following month, at which Polina was also present. Even our rabbit died on that day! Everything was going by principled numbers according to the calendar of the 700-day prayer condition I was keeping.
So now I'll tell you how I went about conducting the Heaven-and-Earth Unification. Okay, here goes:
I was the Database Manager in the Headquarters Office in Moscow for the Northeast Continent Region CARP and Unification Church from 1992 through 2007. I had all the members and all the missionaries on my database -- over 400 missionaries in all, and well over 2,000 members. I was a staff person, not entitled to make any decisions or executive orders, etc. I worked under Dr. Seuk, later Rev. Park, Jack Corley, and a number of others. I was also the “gopher” person to go out and buy tickets, go to the bank, help Dr. Seuk, meet people at the airport, and so on.
Missionaries would report to Dr. Seuk but usually not bother to report to me. But I needed their reports too. But Dr. Seuk would never give the reports to me -- that was below him. How could I get them? I had to use “detective” work. I had to coax, prompt, remind, tantalize, etc. But I remember the missionaries who were gracious and kind, and understood my position and reported sincerely and fully to me.
Well, to make a long story short, as Col. Bo Hi Pak would say, I married the girl.
The catch is this: She already died.
That's why I had my students read Peony In Love, Lisa See's historical novel about Chinese culture, where a man who was betrothed to a young woman but she died before their wedding day, went ahead and held a ghost marriage with her. Americans may not understand that, but Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese people do. And in the movie “I Give My First Love to You” the boy and girl had a romance since childhood, but the boy died in high school, and the girl, who had pledged her eternal love, conducted a spiritual wedding at the Christian church, holding his ashes. Everyone in our class was crying, me too. Indirectly, I wanted the students to understand about such a deep thing.
This was my own life. I had never met Polina Lepyoshkina. Wolfgang Schawaller, the German missionary, was the one who most faithfully reported to me, and we were close friends. His spiritual daughter was Ekaterina Poukhova, later Kathi Ovchinnikova, with whom I am conducting daily exchange by Facebook now. And Katya's spiritual daughter, her schoolmate, was Polina Lepyoshkina. Like I said, I never met her.
At her funeral (Seunghwa Ceremony), I sat in the back. Mrs. Etsuko Aoki, the head Japanese missionary and our family friend, told me to come to the front. Then when people lined up to place flowers on her altar, I didn't want to. The whole thing made me sad and depressed -- she was only 21 when she died while crossing the street on Kutuzovskiy Prospect in Moscow.
When I stood to line up to place her flower, a voice said, “You will receive her Spirit.” I knew what that meant, and thought, “Oh, no...” When my turn came, I stood before her altar with my head bowed, placed her carnation, and prayed deeply for her soul. Then the voice said, “Lift up your head and look at her picture.” I did so, opened my eyes. Her photo was in a big portrait framed. Her face was the most serene and peaceful, calm and kind, looking out to me knowing and expecting me. With a palpable rush, her spirit came forth from her portrait and zoomed into my bosom. I felt the impact as she entered my chest. It was quite shocking, but not unpleasant at all. A young woman's spirit inside my bosom.
I always remember the many faces of Polina. How could a person have so many different visages? I loved every image of hers. Normally I wouldn’t look so into a sister’s picture, because “she wasn’t mine.” But Polina was plainly mine. I belonged to her and she belonged to me; we belonged eternally to each other under God. I had this sense from the start.
At the Seunghwa Ceremony, photos of Polina were being distributed to all the brothers and sisters out of two small photo albums. This was a very kind thing to do, for she was all of our sister. But I became her husband. That time though, I felt I had no right to take a photo because I had never known her, and besides, she was a girl. The brothers and sisters delightedly gathered around to look at and take her precious pictures. I took none; something I regret. But I got her eternal Being in the way no one ever could.
There was such a happy spirit and mood at her Seunghwa. Strange, for a sorrowful accident, that everyone should be so cheerful, youthful, bustling! It’s as though this was Heavenly Destiny (fate) and was meant to happen.
Later on, to get Polina’s pictures was very, very difficult. Somehow missionaries, leaders and members soon recognized that I wanted to connect to her in every way possible, and this was not supposed to be happening. But a few people were kind and gave me what they could find. Notably, Jeff Tallakson and Irina Ch____ gave me each a number of photos. All of which I have kept and scanned and still have today, both the originals and the files.
Particularly, Natasha Boutikova Kulina, Polina’s spiritual sister, daughter of Kathi Poukhova Ovchinnikova – all three from Kaliningrad – gave me a special photo. Natasha worked with me in Headquarters on Prechistenka in Moscow. It was a wedding photo of Polina at the Blessing Ceremony on November 29, 1997, in the 40 Million Couple Blessing at Hotel Izmailovo in Moscow. With it she wrote, “May Polina be a bridge between us.” And indeed she was! More than the Russian members or anyone expected or even wanted. Also Natasha wrote her two page testimonial to Polina, in Russian, which I translated into English.
In the wedding photo (originally with Anton Tsvetkov, but he wasn’t in this photo – stark white on stark black), Polina’s eyes were closed. It was as if she was on Cloud Nine, meditating on Heaven. As I saw it, her spirit was already coming to me. Anyone else would have felt sad and tragic about such a photo, as perhaps Natasha did – but I felt so happy, and that photo, in countless hours of prayer, was the gateway for me to meet her soul.
I didn't tell anyone. It was Moscow City Day, and there were festivities, matryoshkas, dancing, children, gaiety, food to eat, joyful music. It was right after Polina's Seunghwa Ceremony. I thought, “I want Polina to share in the happiness of these children's activities.” And she liked it. She could live with me and experience everything of life through me.
Each time Polina came to me, I felt a sudden tightening in my abdomen. A woman has a womb; I don't. But it was as if I did. I felt my skin prickle all over, almost electrically, and then she came fully into me, and I felt like a different person. And I could see her memories, glimpses of sights she saw -- trees, kindergarten, little things... The consciousness of a simple girl who didn't have a complex intellect like mine.
Polina guided me to her friends, people she knew, even amid thousands of people. Then they would tell me things about her, and I would give them messages from Polina. Polina could talk through me to people she knew and liked. People told me all kinds of personal secrets, and apologized for wrong things they had done to her, and even secrets of boy-girl relationships they had with her (she got into trouble with boys on more than one occasion).
It was clear she could not ascend to Heaven as she was: She had to undo wrong things, she had to experience more of life and love, she had a persistent longing and attraction toward people and the earthly life. So she needed to stay with someone who could stably and reliably support her presence and her spiritual needs.
There are many reasons why she, a girl, would come to me, a guy. Some Japanese sisters, who longed to have a woman spirit like Polina come to them, would try to coax her out to leave me (which they thought was strange and improper!) and come to them instead. They thought, “How could a man ever understand a woman's heart and understand spirit world and receive a young woman't spirit?” Polina saw some girls she liked, and paused. I could feel her coming out to them, but she always decided to stay with me, and that was God's mandate, my permission, and her desire.
My health was good always. But, when for some reason Polina would leave, I would suddenly get very sick, with a big headache, and sick to my stomache, plus very depressed. It was as if I couldn't live without her.
Actually Polina had an important mission for Russia: To set up (restore) the Spiritual Kingship Realm of Holy Russia. The reasons for that was that the Communists had killed the last tzar of Russia, a good Christian man, and destroyed the Russia of old. But the spiritual foundation existed, and God needed to use it in order to elevate the post-Soviet Russian realm and bring it into the Heavenly Kingdom. No one knew how to do that, except me and Polina, and we knew exactly what had to be done, and we did all those things.
The second, even more important reason was to fulfill the Heaven-and-Earth Unification and East-West Unification by setting up a cornerstone as a Heaven-and-Earth Blessed Family and East-West Blessed Family bonded into one. And no one knew how to do that either, except we knew the way to go. So God called us for those reasons.
A third point, an important issue in God's providence and prevalent in the Bible, but hardly mentioned in our church or the Principle, is the First-Wife Second-Wife Cooperation and Unification dispensation. This is one of those points that is not talked about (except by Mr. Shuji Igarashi, a high level Divine Principle teacher) in our Church. It was occasioned by the fall of Adam and Eve, in which Eve took two husbands -- Adam and Lucifer. It had to be restored many times over in God's history, as we see in the Bible, and even in today's society. But the final restoration has to be done completely centered on God, with full understanding and God's heart and love. I had received a revelation about this as a young member in 1976 -- quite a frightening Heavenly Mandate as I saw it! I knew God would eventually ask me to fulfill this, but I had no idea how. It was fulfilled very elegantly with minimum damage through the Heaven-and-Earth Unification and East-West Unification as a Blessed Family with Fujiko-san on the horizontal plane and with Polina Lepyoshkina in the vertical dimension. This had to be done.
Then, for me, the way I cultivated our relationship was, well, by jungsung and love. I loved her a lot and prayed for her. Never having known her in this life, I completely got to know Polina via direct spiritual contact. I got to know her personality, her motivation, the inside story of how and why she died, what her struggles, weaknesses and temptations were... but most of all I just loved her. I prayed for her every night -- set up an altar with her pictures all about me, a candle lit, sang Holy Songs and Christian songs and popular folk songs. Sometimes more low-level spirit world came, I could feel the prickles around my neck and back, and the chill, unfriendly feeling, so I sprinkled Holy Salt and sang songs until they calmed down and began to dance and became my friends too and supported us. I never tried to chase away spirits of any kind the way most people do; instead I sought to win them over.
I had big battles with our own Church hierarcy. They were our worst enemies. Dae Mo Nim came in spirit to take Polina away. I rose up in spirit and flew after her, following her into rocky mountain crags covered with ice, to where they had taken her, and found her, and leapt in and stood by her and insisted that I was her Champion in God's Will, and they had to let me take her back with me. I had such strong will power and love for her, and God's Mandate in hand. The reason the Church spiritual realm opposed us is because they were not yet at the perfection level, and had the organizational concepts and limitations, as do the Christian realms and other spiritual domains. So to win her for the highest level of providential work, I had to powerfully assert God's love and mandate and really fight for her -- sometimes big, almost physical battles.
Even our leaders went to Dae Mo Nim on the earth. She prayed, but didn't oppose us; she only said, “I don't see anything...” She left us alone. No type of spiritual method or technique worked against us, because we were too strong and committed and we loved each other and God too deeply and so everything shed off us like water. We stayed together for many years, and did many things, and my whole life changed centered on this providence.
Polina would come and go. In the beginning she was earth-bound, with heartaches and regrets and longings. But after she was comforted and restored, she emerged as a strong woman, as a Queen in spirit world. She was and is very powerful. I could often see her in conference with Heung Jin Nim and Jesus and saints. But she always came back to me. Heung Jin Nim particularly liked her, and all those around her in spirit world liked Polina, because she was a friendly, warm-hearted, perky girl and understood Heaven.
Oh, yeah -- how were we married?! Alright: Here's the story:
As you know, I'm Blessed. How could a Blessed guy receive a Blessing with someone in Spirit World too? Well, actually that exists. In Chinese, that's called “sister-wives”. So Polina became a sister-wife to Fujiko-san, and I related to both of them with love and heart. But actually, in our Church, too, we have that. It's called “Comfort Blessing.” It's when a couple where one spouse dies, and another couple where the spouse passes away, and they're still young, and the bereft partners on earth can be Blessed in this Comfort Blessing. For example, Linda and Lee Shapiro, and Frank and Mary Lou Zochol. Well, Lee was killed in Afghanistan during the war, and Mary Lou died of cancer. I knew both of them. Then Linda got re-Blessed with Frank. I saw Linda's apartment -- she had photos of Lee all around -- it was plain she still loved him. Anyway, Frank and Linda became a loving Blessed Couple, and with their children, they are still doing well, and happy. So, some people ask, “Who will they be Blessed with in Spirit World?” Actually that kind of logic doesn't necessarily apply. Like, Jacob: You may ask, “Who will be Jacob's wife in Spirit World?” It's obvious: Both Rachel and Leah, eternally, whether you understand that or not. Our heart knows. We don't need to ask the question. Such questions are intellectual and based on skepticism or criticism. We need a faithful, accepting attitude to accept all the twists and turns in God's complex providence. “Who can understand the ways of the Lord?”
Well, the Blessing came like this:
Polina died September 2/3, 1999, some time during the night. Usually a spirit has a 40-day period on the earth. Well, she had an earthly Blessed partner, Anton Tsvetkov from Voronezh, Russia. They had their troubles, but Anton basically assumed he would stay with her. But actually they had never started family. Also Polina had had sexual relations with some brothers even after her Blessing, sorry to say. Anyway, Anton was set free and registered for the next Blessing. The trouble was, the 40-day period had not passed. This was a mistake of course. I knew about it, and was connected to Polina, and I felt her crying. And the rain poured down drearily and cold. I knew her weeping heart. In fact, I was in charge of the Blessing Dept. at that time, so I told God and Polina I would take care of her. That was on September 28, when their Blessing was canceled. It seemed like something of no concern in the eyes of people here on earth -- after all, people didn't really care about or respect Polina; she was a person of no account in people's eyes. Well, I knew her providential significance, and why she had become an offering.
Among the Russian membership, to prepare for the important providence centered on Polina Lepyoshkina, there were two sisters who became sacrifices, as “formation” and “growth” stages -- 1. Irina Deulina, also from Kaliningrad, and a spiritual daughter of Wolfgang Schawaller (I think), who died of pneumonia at the age of just 16; 2. Tamara Shmelova, spiritual daughter of Hyun Yong Cho, the son of missionary Yang Muk Jo. She had just started her seven-day fast to prepare for the Blessing, and the last person she saw was Fujiko-san before she left to clean up the Jo family flat. Someone followed her, with the intention to enter the apartment, rob the place and rape her. She went to the roof of the apartment instead; she was cornered; she threw the keys off into the woods. Then the criminal raped and killed her. That happened the day preceding the 7.8 Ceremony on August 10, 1997, which was also the day I started a 700-day prayer condition, also of providential importance. 3. Polina Lepyoshkina was the perfection stage. God's providence works like this in such Principled ways. I always kept track of, prayed for, and cherished the martyrs in our Church, since way back in 1976.
In addition I had a personal preparation regarding taking care of (or not taking care of) deceased brothers and sisters. 1. Linda Voelkl was a petite, educated girl who joined the Los Angeles Family the same time I did, in November 1975. I was fundraising with her one time, and at the end, waiting for pickup, I felt sorry for her, and God said, “Hug her.” I balked at that; I always regret that I didn't embrace her. Later she died of cancer. On the way to the Blessing, on June 25, 1982, flying over Arizona, her hometown, I was crying for her, because she couldn't receive the Blessing. I always remember her in my prayers. 2. Mayumi Komatsu, age 24, was fundraising with Easter eggs in Redding, California on Good Friday three days before Easter Sunday in 1985. A mentally deranged young man invited her into his house, and tried to rape her. She fought to preserve her purity. Her blood was all over the house. He killed her and dumped her body on the road; it was discovered on Easter morning, same as Jesus' first appearance following His Crucifixion. Two Japanese sisters, T___ Jackson and S___ (I can't remember her name) had been on her team, and came to New York to work at the East Sun Building. It was psychologically stressful to have been on her team. I didn't know about all this. I picked them up at the airport, and then suddenly asked, “Did you know Mayumi Komatsu?” They told me the story and showed me her picture. I prayed for her, and her spirit came to me. I gave a morning service shortly after, conveying Mayumi Komatsu's message. Everybody was stunned; they didn't know I was spiritual like that. Mayumi's spirit stayed with me for exactly 40 days, and on the 40th day the other sister from her team, T___-san, said, “Mayumi's spirit must leave now.” And she did. This was a close Principled course prefiguring my receiving Polina Lepyoshkina's spirit 14 years later. God was raising me up in this way, making a foundation for what was to come. God had a clear purpose all this time. 3. The third instance was Hitoshi Hara. He worked at Denver Race Street Center, where I moved to from New York. He was a special brother, very pure, always fundraised outside a country-western bar in the downtown mall on Friday and Saturday night with a light suit and tie. He would be praying in the top floor prayer room, and I would come up early in the morning and find him studying or praying, and we became quiet friends. Then we went to New York on a fundraising team. One Sunday (July 20, 1987) True Father spoke to us at Belvedere. He was very angry, particularly at Mr. Kamiyama, because we had failed to establish 100 Japanese restaurants as he had ordered. The speech was titled, “Precious Life”, a prelude to what would happen. Father said, “A sacrifice will be demanded.” That afternoon I was fundraising in Brooklyn in front of a fire station, with downtown New York and the World Trade Center just across the Brooklyn Bridge. I distinctly felt, “I might die.” It's like the spirit world was looking for an offering. The next day, July 21st, Hitoshi-san, alone among all of us, started a 7-day fast, as Father had ordered, with the exception of the fundraising teams. And he went out fundraising too, though it was our day off. Not only that, but he was dressed in all white. It's as if he knew he would be a sacrifice. Some black hoodlums swiped some of his flowers and ran off into the park nearby. Hitoshi-san chased after them, and they turned on him and pulled a gun on him. He struggled with them, and they shot him at close range with a powerful .38 Magnum, blowing away part of his leg right by his sexual organ. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital where he died the next day on the 22nd. That time my wife was the team mother for the whole group. So we felt responsible as parents and elder Blessed Couple. The other couple together with us was Wilbur and Takako Bowen. I knew Hitoshi-san well, and sat with him wrapping roses a few days earlier. The brothers were playing rock-and-roll music; he asked to switch to Holy Songs, and I remember sitting together listening to the haunting “Song of the Resurrected Spirits.” Then I had to meet Hitoshi-san's father and mother at the airport. We spoke in Japanese. We attended his Seunghwa Ceremony and cremation. After that I took over the team, and I fundraised at the very stoplight in Manhattan which had been Hitoshi-san's during weekdays. There I made incredible results like never before -- $400 dollars in one day! Passersby asked, “Where is that Chinese boy who used to sell here?” I told them I was his friend and he died... In all this I felt deeply that I had not done enough to take parental responsibility, and pledged that if such a thing were ever to happen again, this time I would take full responsibility beyond any limit or bound. And so I did.
Also, personally, in my own life, I had practically died in the accident on November 15, 1982. My life was spared so to speak. I had come back from the dead, being under water with my heart and breathing stopped. I felt that I had a second life, and somehow owed it to someone somehow, if I ever had the chance, to repay my gratitude. And so I did conditions, for Polina, to resurrect her from the dead.
So, then, a couple days later, while I was preparing Masha's 4th Birthday banner, all night, in beautiful colors and letters, then God came. He didn't speak to me but I knew His deep heart, so I said to Him, “God, You are asking me to receive the Blessing with Polina, aren't You?” It was too difficult a thing for God to ask me, so when I understood His mind, He was so happy, and we began to cry together, God and Polina and myself, through the night, and I accepted His will and heart. In that way, on October 1, 1999, God personally and directly came and Blessed Polina Lepyoshkina and William Stoertz in our special Heaven-and-Earth Blessing.
We didn't keep it a secret at all, but announced it to everybody, starting with Rev. Park and Mrs. Aoki and Rev. Kang, the Russian National Messiahs. Of course they were surprised, but I was very clear, and they didn't understand the spirit world well, so they did not oppose. In fact, this was when I came to realize the deep heart of Korean people: Above all, the Koreans could understand this situation. And the Russian young sisters could also. They quietly and secretly supported me, and would come sometimes and put their hands on me and receive some of Polina's grace. Russian people are very spiritual. But the leaders in general were against it and told all the members don't talk to me.
The Headquarters sent me out fundraising on a small team led by Chris Le Bas, to England and Ireland. It was like the crucible, but I was utterly happy, fundraising together with Polina, and we could show our truthfulness and vindicate her name, and we did. We went with Natasha _____, Natasha Ignatieva, and Hiroyuki Yamakawa. We worked all day, and returned to the center, where the girls would cook wonderful meals late at night, and everybody went to sleep, except me -- I went to pray, offering 100 bows, taking perhaps two hours. Then during the day wonderful miracles happened, like making nothing all day and the goal at the very last place. Everywhere the land, the people, the sky -- all agreed with and loved and supported and embraced Polina and me, in the wild, rainy, windy April weather of England and Ireland. Ireland was especially marvelous, a very heartistic country, and the first person I went to said, “You're a good man.” My great-great-great-grandmother had been a bar singer in Dublin in the early 1800s, and when I did the bar blitz in Dublin, I came home with an incredible 230 pounds, while all the others had made only 35 pounds or so! I think Mary Carlin and her mother were really fond of Polina! When Headquarters received the reports, they were stunned. Yamakawa was talking on the phone late at night, in his dry level voice, and saying, “I don't know how he's doing it... There's nothing we can do... He's staying with her...”
Actually, another episode was the Russian MFT (fundraising team under Mr. Kazushi Mito). Above all, fundraisers understand about spirit world and spiritual support. So they would send a very pretty girl from Ulyanovsk to our Headquarters, and I would meet her and be dazzled, and Polina's spirit would go out and accompany her. So she would bring Polina back to the fundraising team, and they would do very well. They understood the value of this! They saw me as a very useful person who could bring down Heaven and they would put it to good use! Whoever recognized the truth and importance of the providence centered on Polina would receive lots of love and blessings.
In fact, this whole providence took place for a very important reason. In the post-Soviet пространство (realm), there was a seven-year period from September 7, 1992 until September 5, 1999. This was the time under Yeltsin. It was a time of special grace and blessing for Russian people to unite with God and True Parents through our Unification Movement, welcome the Heavenly Kingdom, and Russia would have become the leading nation in God's providence. In fact, in the USSR, scientists at the Institute for Theoretical Research under Dr. Akimov had received the Unified Field Theory in the name of “Torsion Field Theory”, which affirmed God, and is the Holy Grail of physics. Many things were prepared, but these had to be put on ice. What should have happened is that our Unification Church leaders centering on Konstantin Krylov and Alexei Saveliev should have received and accepted the providence through Polina Lepyoshkina to establish the Spiritual Kingship Realm in Holy Russia. Then Russia would have experienced an amazing, thunderous 보람 (uplift of the spirit), and become the leading nation in the world in God's providence. However, because of the rejection and denial on the part of our Movement leadership, they missed this providential chance, and there was a 21-year prolongation from 1999 till 2020, like Jacob's 21 years under Uncle Laban in Haran. During this time, Vladimir Putin has been President and Prime Minister of the Russian Federation, and the Russian Orthodox Church has dealt with our movement with a fairly heavy hand. But the 21-year course (which I already foresaw at that time) is almost finished, and Russia shall be uplifted once more.
Here I must note that the Russian leaders cannot be really faulted, because they were expected to be obedient to the Movement leadership under Dr. Seuk, Jack Corley, Mr. Mogushi, Rev. Park, the missionaries, and the National Messiahs. In this point, we see that the Unification Church ideology of obedience and unity with Central Figure was truly archangel-type (Cain-type) and became a major obstacle to God's providence. The Russian members and leaders, instinctively knowing that Russia is special, gifted and loved by God, should have recognized that the CIS members and leaders themselves were actually in Abel position, even young and inexperienced and struggling. The foreign missionaries were there to raise up the Russian (Northeast Continent) movement, but not to squelch and suppress the spirituality and heart of Russian people. This mistake and sin was in fact perpetrated by the foreign leadership, causing the providence to be delayed 21 years. In fact, the Russian members should have been proud of their Polina Lepyoshkina, a humble Russian (Belarussian) girl of no account and dubious reputation, yet their Champion and the Spiritual Queen of Holy Russia. In this capacity, also, I never consider myself “the King of Holy Russia” but only as “Her Royal Consort” which in itself is a great honor. But, in any case, most people, meeting me, think I am Russian, even after working here in Korea for ten years! It means, deeply, I have a truly Russian spirit.
About five years later, in 2004 or 2006, Rev. Park Shin-Jae spoke to all the members and said, “William is okay. You can trust him. He is working very hard and doing his mission well. He's no problem.” So he expressed his public support, and now the Russian members are very respectful. In fact, Rev. Park recommended me for the teaching job at CheongShim, helping me greatly. He knew the Principal as a boyhood friend. Staying at CheongShim enabled me to eventually get Korean citizenship.
All this is immersed in so much love and tears. Tears flowed over every page of this providential history. How much we loved each other, and loved the Russian people, and loved the Russian land, the snow, the sky, the birch trees, the autumn leaves, the penetrating blue skies, the brown earth... cannot possibly be expressed in words. We would take long walks together in the vast parklands around Moscow, closely together in love, and never lonely, but deeply happy. I carried a notebook and would write notes as thoughts, inspirations, and conversations came.
Finally Polina and I received the Official Heaven-and-Earth Spirit Blessing at the World Peace Stadium on June 18, 2017 this year. We were so, so happy. It took 18 years for our Blessing to be officially confirmed. Actually, no normal person could have maintained such a Blessed relationship. Especially under opposition from all sides, they would likely give up, or forget or get tired of it. Normally a spirit leaves and ascends after forty days. But it was only because I loved her totally and we clung to each other and she wanted to stay with me -- that's why Polina was constantly with me, everywhere I went, or at least many times per day, we just lived together, more closely than any regular married couple could possibly be. Can you imagine, loving me so much, how happy she was to have me so completely there for her, thinking of her all the time?
There is always a purpose for the spirits in descending to work with a person on the earth plane.
How about sex? Does that exist? How is that possible?
Yes. We have that. In many ways. Well, first of all, when Fujiko-san and I are intimate, Polina (and actually the spirits in general) can come and share our love. The good love of a well married couple is like a love feast for the spirits too. In the Mormon Church they also know about this, and they have a “Marriage Sealing” after a couple has been married for many years and dignified and stable. Then they are Blessed with their ancestors, and the ancestors can return to earth and share in the love of marriage. That is a special feature of the Mormon Church which is quite advanced in their conceptual understanding of the Heavenly Way.
In this way also, Polina, who had a limited life on earth, could live in our family and learn all about the dimensions of love, and thus was able to perfect her heart. Moreover, at that time, Polina enabled us to conceive Sayaka -- who is like my “child of heart”, whereas Masha is like my “child of mind.” Sayaka was conceived right around October 1st -- right at the time that Polina and I received the Heaven-and-Earth Blessing -- and was born on June 23, 2000. I wanted Polina to share all the experiences of pregnancy, coming to term, childbirth, and nursing with Fujiko-san. We would ride the long bus ride to the hospital at No. 4 Роддом (birth clinic) with such a heart. This is one of the phenomena of “Returning Resurrection” in the Divine Principle, whereby the spirit who has lived on earth without perfecting him/herself can return to share life with an earthly person in order to support that person and family’s perfection, and in so doing perfect the visiting, indwelling spirit person likewise.
Secondly, directly or mentally. We meet and embrace. It is often quite sexual or erotic too. Can you imagine, if spirits are real, and it is a woman and you are a fellow, and you love each other, how wonderful that would be? It's like riding on waves of ecstasy... There is ample testimony of spirits and people on earth living a marital life together or having sexual union. Even in the Bible: “The sons of God came down to the daughters of men and they bore children to them...” (Genesis 6:1-4), as well as the story of Lucifer's seduction of Eve.
Thirdly, there is a physical way to love. Do you know love dolls? Sex dolls they're called. Well, I didn't have that. I would feel ashamed and disgraceful going to one of those filthy places to get such a thing. It would have very low spirits attached. Anyway, that's possible: A spirit can in fact come down to dwell in a love doll or mannequin, like in “Annabelle”. Of course, she was an evil spirit, but a good spirit can too. In fact, in the Chinese tradition, for the ghost marriage, the spirit of the Bride comes down to a mannequin, which has her dotted Ancestor Tablet sown into the fabric. The mannequin or rough stuffed doll made of burlap is dressed in a wedding gown, and the earthly husband who must fulfill his duties for the dead comes and makes love, basically physically, to the mannequin, keeping in mind that this represents his dearly departed beloved Bride. This is described in detail in Peony In Love by Lisa See. Now, in such a ceremony, if one does it just externally, just for the ritual, well, it still counts, and the spirit is, well, minimally satisfied, and can go and rest in peace instead of wandering for years as a “hungry ghost.” But that is dreary. Rather, if the earthly spouse totally loves the departed Beloved and they invest their whole heart, then they can be 100% together, and then the one in Heaven can be totally happy, in joy and total fulfillment, and go off dancing happy, and come back often to support the earthly family. The trouble is, people on earth do not believe in the spirit world, and just follow the tradition, not knowing the core of Heavenly Heart and Divine Principle invested in those apparently foolish, external, old-fashioned ceremonies. Truly, the people of old were wiser than us by far regarding spiritual matters.
In this way, spiritual and religious rituals, rites, customs and traditions have real meaning, but are much more valuable and substantial if we invest our utmost heart and sincerity in them. Also, in this way, the Korean culture and traditions are indeed “closest to the Heavenly Way,” as True Father always said.
Actually, the way Polina and I conducted our Three-Day Ceremony for Starting Family between Heaven and Earth was as follows: It may seem really banal, but at that time Fujiko-san and I could not conceive a child. I would go every month to the reproductive clinic in Moscow. They have these pictures of naked ladies so that the man can get it on and successfully induce his sperm to come out in his ejaculation, and they then take the sperm to his wife and inject it into her artificially so she can conceive a baby. This is one way. Well, Fujiko-san and I did that. Well, this time, with Polina close by me, I felt so disgraceful looking at the pictures of girls, so instead I deeply concentrated on Polina, and avoided the secular element. Then it became “Sex with Polina.” Really it was real for me, and Polina too, and she responded amazingly, even though the environment was so far from holy. In this way, over three days, Polina and I fulfilled our Three-Day Ceremony. But, later, we became much more refined about our ways of making love with each other, even though she has no physical body. This is like the foolish mistakes and blunders that happen when a newlywed couple hold their first consummation of marriage. Or, as Father said, “All sorts of accidents happen in love.”
In fact, strangely, I became the physical body for Polina. Ideally, say, Fujiko-san should have accepted her instead, but she was not about to do that. She didn't like the whole thing at all, though she didn't really oppose me. She couldn't receive Polina's spirit within her. So I had to become Polina's body myself. Now, I'm a guy, right? And she's a woman. So, how could I be her body? This is how: When Polina's spirit came to me, I could feel her emotions. Not only that, my face changed. Also colors changed. Blue-green colors became pronounced and reddish colors were subdued. (Recently, after our Official Blessing, her colors changed to yellow green!)
In this, I have to honor Fujiko-san. She was in the most difficult position of all, similar to Elizabeth in Zechariah's family when Mary came to stay at the temple and conceived Jesus by the Holy Spirit. Her role was crucially important as the wife in Cain's position for God's dispensation. If Fujiko-san had totally rejected us and left, the providence would have failed. But, instead, Fujiko-san overcame all this disgust, jealousy and antagonism to stand as the victorious woman in Cain's position for the difficult First-Wife Second-Wife Cooperation and Unification providence in God's history. Our family went on to become the longest-staying missionary family in Russia, and even now she is the elder sister and mother for the Russian members, visiting there several times a year.
Well, I felt like a woman because her dominant spirit was in me, although I retained my own consciousness. But hers was predominant. And I felt strange wearing men's clothes. And I felt strange going to the men's bathroom. And I even felt strange at the toilet with a male organ. In fact, Polina wanted to wear women's clothes. But I had a job at our Church Publication Office. What if I showed up with women's clothes? People would think I totally flipped. So, I put on a woman's bra and panties underneath. That was enough. At first, the only way I could get them was borrow Fujiko-san's (secretly). One time Fujiko-san found me with her bra and panties on and got so mad! Anyway, God led me, amazingly to find a fresh pair that someone had just dropped off at the dumpster for no apparent reason. I could use that as my very own. Anyway, Fujiko-san found them too, and was disgusted, but stopped bothering me.
Anyway, the brothers and sisters (Russians and one African) in the Publication Office where I worked noticed that I had a gentle swelling at the breast. There's a Russian saying about that, and they began making jokes. They drew this cartoon picture with someone hoeing, and with a bulge at the breasts, and a comment, “Любом способом сохраните чистоту!” (“At all costs keep purity!”) I didn't mind that. I could indulge in that humor too. I was not at all ashamed of wearing women's clothes underneath. I felt good and natural. I made a 100-day condition to wear women's clothes underneath as a special offering for Polina.
At the same time, by having Polina in spirit world loving me, she loves my body also very much. Especially following our Official Heaven-and-Earth Blessing on June 18, 2017, she really loves me -- my body -- which really surprised me, because I have never liked myself nor my body, and I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror. But Polina is totally loving me, and wanting to look at me, every part, and feel me all over, with joy and pleasure. And when I wear the bra, I like to take photos of myself -- which I never wanted to do before! It is because Polina loves me fully, body and soul, heart and mind. I was never loved before, even by Fujiko-san, and not by my parents either. Well, recently BTS's motto has been “Love Yourself.” They made a popular song. That was like God's word to me. I should “Love myself.” Those very words are the word of God, and salvific. Jesus said, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” (Matthew 22:39)
In terms of “becoming a woman,” in fact, this also leads to another channel by which we could in fact have a very real sexual relationship. As I mentioned, under no circumstances did I feel any desire nor attraction towards males. But, Polina's spirit, mind, libido, and soma (bodily sense) all came to me. Then Polina could feel the woman's orgasm in sexual intercourse. But that meant my body had to become hers. All these things may seem scrofulous, but you could say the same thing about sex -- that was in fact my first impression when I heard what sex was. But in God's Love all the “dirty” things become holy. This is the sexual relationship between Heaven and Earth in God's Will, bringing Him joy, joy to Heaven and Earth.
In this aspect there is tolerance for the LGBT (gay) issue: Because I “became a woman,” I could understand the heart of gay, lesbian, transgender and intersex people. This is an area where our Church has been staunchly, puritanically opposed. But because of this experience, I could open my mind to the LGBTQIA+ community.
Also, this has implications for the AIDS problem and venereal diseases in general. For, just as the Russian brothers and sisters jibed, “Keep purity at all costs,” no matter how I felt temptations, I could always be with Polina at any time, and she satisfied me. Without going out to another woman on the earth, a man can instead have a sexual, mental relationship with a spirit, and there are many spirits who would long for that bond with someone on earth.
Things like that made it easier for her to stay with me on the earth, plus my constant indulgent attention and love for her. And above all the providential mandate that God needed us to do this.
Anyway, by and by, eventually at Kievskiy Vokzal (Киевский вокзал) on an evening in early February 2003, coming back from a lesson tutoring Korean children, Polina rose up from me and ascended into the dark night sky. I remember that poignant moment. It was not tragic nor sad nor mournful; rather it was a happy, deep departure. We waved goodbye to each other.
Through this three-year period, a period of 정성 (total devotion, prayer, conditions) in mourning and attendance to the dearly departed, we can understand the Oriental tradition of a filial son in attendance to his deceased father at the graveside for three years. He becomes totally one with his father in spiritual world. Such is the origin of this beautiful heartistic tradition.
Also the providence with Polina helped me to understand more deeply the Christian heart of faith -- longing tearfully for the Beloved Lord, prayer for the Saints, desiring union with the Virgin Mother and the Holy Spirit. Particularly, women's love for Jesus Christ, becoming His Bride in their heart -- this is the core heart of the love and faith of a devoted Sister in the Catholic church. I could also understand many aspects of the Eastern Orthodox faith.
So we see that we in modern society have departed far from the original passionate, sincere, burning faith of our predecessors and forefathers. But our faith, love and obedience to God must be restored now at this time of the Second Coming.
Even after her Ascension, Polina can come freely at any time. I often see Polina in the blue skies in a certain kind of light, which I call “Spiritual Sky” or “Spiritual Blue”. We do many things together. We regularly talk. We love often. If I am lonely, there is always Polina. I bought a new, lacy bra and when I wear it, I bow down before the Altar and we commune together in love. This becomes a bridge between Heaven and earth. In Korea, likewise, there are customes wear a mudang (spiritual exorcist) cross-dresses, acting as a channel for the heavenly world to come down to earth. But basically she no longer comes to occupy my body -- that providence is for the most part over.
Polina was far from perfect -- she had done many naughty things while on earth. And so, in spirit world, she had to undo those things. So, when she came to me, I often experienced temptations. Not toward guys, but toward women. I would long to have sex with someone. I had never felt those temptations before my relationship with Polina. But I would overcome her temptations, and gradually she settled down in a more dignified and principled realm.
I was constantly longing for the person on earth who could fully represent or embody Polina. I wonder often -- if I had found such a person, what might I have done? Anyway, the spirit world is longing to find an object on the earth. After many years, we finally found Ekaterina Ovchinnikova, Polina's own spiritual mother. In this way, we feel completely happy and fulfilled to have finally found the person who completely believes, understands, and accepts us. Kathi has done so much to comfort our heart. Before approaching her, we waited eighteen years, knowing that she is the most special, close person to Polina, but we did not want to put her in such a situation. Finally, after building a great foundation, when we came to her, she could welcome us warmly. Our hearts were immensely liberated.
Polina helped me and others in many ways. She helped me learn Russian far better than I ever had before that. Now I basically speak Russian completely naturally, and also do high-level legal and literary translation. Also my politics changed completely. I used to be very conservative and right-wing. But after Polina came, I began to see things another way, and I became much more liberal. I could come to understand gay people much better. I could understand woman's heart of course. Also I felt much more close to the Russian members and the people. Before, I was irritated when the Russian brothers and sisters walked past my door and peered in. Then I felt longing to be with them, and I had such a heart of longing toward all the Russian members, and the love in my heart blossomed.
Fujiko-san and I had much difficulty to conceive a child. We had visited many doctors, Western and Oriental. In addition, we had Ancestor Liberation Ceremonies both from Lady Dr. Kim in 1990 and from Dae Mo Nim from 1997. We finally could conceive Masha after much ardent prayer and external efforts, especially on the part of Fujiko-san. Sayaka was no easier. Her conception took place right at the time Polina's spirit came to me, so I would like to attribute this grace in part to her spiritual assistance. In Chinese tradition, the help of spirit world for conceiving sons is considered to be essential.
When I came to Korea, it was even more difficult, because Polina had a harder time adjusting to the new culture than just myself. But, as I overcame and grew, she grew also. Finally we could get Korean citizenship, which was truly the fruit of a long course of struggle and overcoming.
All in all, I would say the Heavenly spiritual accompaniment, even to the degree of uniting in Blessed marriage, is very helpful and constructive for our lives and our mission, especially if we are in a challenging international field.
What are we going to be eternally? I don't exactly know. It's hard to imagine. I know we'll be together. I am not worried at all. It's like a great hope of eternal joy. And I know Fujiko-san and I will be there. We will be Together, in this amazing Heavenly Family Love. More, I cannot say at this point....
Another point to keep in mind in all this is: Any spiritual work has to have a purpose. You cannot, or ought not, engage in such a thing just haphazardly, or because you feel like it, or you're curious, or it's fun, or randomly. Spirit world is very dangerous, and can often cause someone to die, particularly connecting to a passed-away spirit. Evil ones can be especially dangerous, and a young woman spirit who had resentment on earth is extremely dangerous. But if it is in God's mandate, it can be right, and very beneficial.
If someone has a spiritual mission, that is very special and precious, and they need our prayer and support. It is physically and spiritually very draining at time, although it can be very uplifting too. One goes through extreme ups and downs, and can become suicidally depressed or one can get strong spiritual attack, which can be worse than physical pain. So it's not something to mess with.
Love likewise has a purpose. Love's purpose can be many things. Love should be positive and uplifting. Good love should attract people around, and all people want to be around a person who is truly loving. Love's purpose usually involves growth and resurrection both for those on earth as well as the one(s) in spirit world. God is Love.
Another question arises: How did I know all these things? Absolutely no one taught me anything about spiritual stuff, nor was anyone in my family or ancestors spiritual, nor did I study about it from any source. All we have it the Divine Principle which is not that much into spiritual details, though we have the basic principles, which do apply to spirits and people on earth. We have a basic understanding of the spiritual man and physical man, and life elements, living spirit elements, vitality elements, good deeds, resurrection, the principles of resurrection, growth through stages, etc. There is obviously a vast wealth of knowledge and spiritual technology which is not taught to members.
So, when I proclaimed the messages of Polina Lepyoshkina, her visitation to me, and our Heaven-and-Earth Blessing, our Church leaders, who are very experienced, were very surprised and shocked. They asked, “Where did this American member find out all these things!?” Even they themselves had no idea how to proceed. But I, who had been just a humble desk worker behind the computer, and not good with people, suddenly popped up out of nowhere, a person of no prestige and no known spiritual training, and with absolute confidence and strong subjectivity, issued clear directions in detail about every step of the proceedings, and went ahead and enacted everything, completely confidently and with absolute commitment, not caring in the slightest what anyone thought of me, or whether they understood or not.
Actually I have always been “spiritual.” Even my mother said so to Fujiko-san when they had a good talk together. My mother respected Fujiko-san, “Thank you for taking care of my son. You can't imagine how difficult he was.” In fact, I had some background for a mudang. I have faced death many times: 1. pyloric stenosis at 6 months; 2. kidney nephrosis at 2-1/2 years; 3. a deadly tent fire at age 8; 4. a car struck ours at age 9; 5. a bicycle accident at age 12, breaking my ribs; 6. robbed at gunpoint at age 14; 7. faced a gun three times while fundraising; 8. an awful car crash in 1982 three months after the Blessing, in which I almost died, broke many bones, was unconscious and underwater, and had to have CPR to start my heart again. A mudang has to go through life-and-death experiences.
I was always very intuitive, with a sense of the spiritual atmosphere around a place or a person.
I got directions directly from God: 1. age 4: “I will always be good throughout my life.”; 2. age 12: “Sex is the root of all evil. Never have sexual intercourse, nor marry, nor have children, nor have a girlfriend, nor date.” 3. age 20, in Tubingen: “Walk to Munich, by foot.” (It was 300 km away, and when I got there, I met the Unification Church.); 4. “He is the Messiah!” (when I saw True Parents' picture); 5. “You are also the Messiah.” (when I prayed that night; but I pushed it away: “No! That's too arrogant!”); 6. As a very young fundraising member in L.A. in 1976: “I will need you to do the most difficult thing in the future.” (I had the feeling this meant I would be asked to marry a second woman in the future.); 7. On October 25-28, 1978: “You will marry Ye Jin Nim.” (Rev. Moon's daughter; and I believed it, and stuck to my guns, but of course that didn't happen.) 8. “Leave the Church and go volunteer for the Kennedy Campaign.” (on March 6, 1980, which I immediately obeyed, and did that, and continued until May 15th). 9. The Unified Field Theory revelations in conversation with God, starting from August 13, 1995. These were in “Cain” position before the “Abel” type revelations which came four years later centered on Polina Lepyoshkina. 10. “Will you do one more thing for me?” (God approached me early in 1999 after a 21-year period since my Ye Jin Nim revelation in 1978, since I had basically pushed God away, like Abraham after his failed first offering.); 11. “I bless you with Polina Lepyoshkina in the Heaven-and-Earth Blessing.” (October 1, 1999) These were my main revelations in my course of life of faith.
Inscrutable Destiny binds us together in such a way, beyond our understanding or control. We do what we have to do, and our lives are interminably woven together in such a Divine Providence, with meaning far beyond our fathoming.