I Should Be Captain

1976.10.6

Today's is Gretchen's birthday, but I forgot to get a card. The days all run together. It's hard to keep up.

My new captain, Christopher Rood, is only eight months in the family and has been fundraising for three months. I feel very resentful that someone so young spiritually is now my central figure, but I know that's my fallen nature. My arrogance makes me want to disunite and dominate him. But I know God can only work through unity, that unity is the starting point of love, and it is true love that is our mission to restore and expand. Besides, I know that even if Christopher is wrong and I unite with his direction, HF will take care of the rest.

When I was in San Francisco I was very reluctant to go to New York and often thought I would refuse if they tried to send me. But after fundraising in Texas for a month with Matthew's flower team last November, I began to see the value of fundraising for spiritual growth, and I finally began to desire to be sent to New York.

I feel I am facing the same situation now. I have been content to be a seller and not so eager to be a captain. But I am beginning to see that now it is essential for my spiritual growth that I should seek to take more responsibility.